Preparing for a Funeral
It is a deep spiritual honor to support individuals reflecting upon their wishes for their own funerals, and assisting grieving families who are planning services for their loved ones. We seek to be spiritually sensitive and biblically oriented. The details of our services are guided by the standards in the Presbyterian Book of Order.
What do we believe about death?
In the Presbyterian Church we teach that the resurrection is a central doctrine of the Christian faith and shapes Christians’ attitudes and responses to the event of death. Death brings loss, sorrow, and grief to all. In the face of death Christians affirm with tears and joy the hope of the gospel. Christians do not bear bereavement in isolation but are sustained by the power of the Spirit and the community of faith. The church offers a ministry of love and hope to all who grieve.
Planning a Service
Because it is difficult under emotional stress to plan wisely, we encourage people to discuss and plan in advance the arrangements which will be necessary at the time of death, including decisions about the Christian options of burial, cremation, the distribution one’s estate and donations for medical purposes. These plans should provide for arrangements which are simple, which bear witness to resurrection hope, and in which the Christian community is central. The service is under the direction of the pastor. The pastor has the discretion to invite others to participate in the service.
A Funeral or Memorial Service?
A funeral service is normally thought of as one where the body is present in the sanctuary. As a practical matter this means it will take place within a very few days of death. A memorial service is one that takes place after burial or cremation. A memorial service can be held several weeks or even months after death, allowing much more time for planning. In recent years memorial services are more common than funerals. Part of the reason for this is the complexity involved in bringing people together across great distances on short notice.
Where Should the Service be held?
We believe that the service on the occasion of death ordinarily should be held in the usual place of worship. When there are important reasons not to hold the service in the usual place of worship, it may be held in another suitable place such as a home, a funeral home, a crematorium, or at graveside.
What are the Details within a Service?
In order that attention in the service be directed to God, when a casket is present it is ordinarily closed. It may be covered with a funeral pall. The service may include other actions common to the community of faith and its cultures when these actions do not detract from or diminish the Christian understanding of death and resurrection.
The service is complete in itself, and any fraternal, civic, or military rites are conducted separately. It is appropriate for worshipers to sing hymns, psalms, spirituals, or spiritual songs which affirm God’s power over death, a belief in the resurrection to life everlasting, and the assurance of the communion of the saints.
In the service Scripture is read, a brief message is shared, and faith is affirmed. Aspects of the life of the one who has died are most often recalled.
Prayers of thanks are also offered:
- for life in Jesus Christ and the promise of the gospel
- for the gift of the life of the one who has died
- for the comfort of the Holy Spirit
- for the community of faith; making intercessions
- for family members and loved ones who grieve
- for those who minister to and support the bereaved
- for all who suffer loss; lifting supplications
- for faith and grace for all who are present; often we conclude with the Lord’s Prayer:
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. Amen.
As you discuss the service with the pastor, you may want to suggest music and readings for the service. You may know members of the family, friends or colleagues who might be willing to participate in the service. Share this with the pastor.
What is a Committal?
Members and friends of the family of the one who has died should gather at the graveside or crematorium for a service of farewell, which is conducted with simplicity, dignity, and brevity. The service includes readings from Scripture, prayers, words of committal, and a blessing, reflecting the reality of death, entrusting the one who has died to the care of God, and bearing witness to faith in the resurrection from the dead.
What are the Church Expenses?
It is customary to give the minister an "honorarium," for his/her pastoral services. The amount of such honorariums is usually at least $250. Janitorial fees for the church are $150. A usage fee for the sanctuary is also normally requested.
